Dear friends, 

It has been almost a week since I returned from our Federation Solidarity Mission to Israel, and as I lit the candles with friends and family from San Diego and Sha’ar HaNegev last night, I worked hard to focus on the mitzvah of bringing light into a dark world.

It was far harder for me than I expected to leave Israel last Friday, and everything we saw, heard and experienced there keeps replaying in my mind. On our last day, we studied with Rabbi Donniel Hartman of the Hartman Institute, and he stressed to us that it would be impossible to bring back all that we experienced; that all we could hope to really do was share how we felt, and how we feel. 

We all took that to heart. You can read the reflections from the participants on our trip, and you should; their writing is raw, angry, informative, spiritual, poetic, sad and often inspiring. The days were long and tiring, but even more exhausting was the emotional intensity of the trip – and really of the past two months.  

So many times in the past few weeks I have listened to people speak in detail about the worst moments of their lives, because they needed to share their stories and we needed to hear them. My heart has broken over and over again.

And so many times in the past few weeks I have found myself speechless, in awe of the resilience and strength of the Israeli people, who have come together with astonishing speed to care for one another and their homeland. Darkness and light. 

On the same day we walked through the ruins of Kibbutz Kfar Aza, stepping over chunks of homes blasted by rockets and RPG fire and riddled with bullets, we also visited colorful and well-equipped preschool classrooms created from nothing in days by the residents of Kibbutz Erez in their temporary home: a youth hostel in Mitzpe Ramon. 

On the day we visited with the evacuated communities of Kfar Aza and Nachal Oz, grieving their unfathomable losses with them and praying for the return of their remaining hostages, we also had the privilege of visiting a peaceful and rustic healing retreat for survivors and the families of victims of the Nova Music Festival. 

There we sat and sang along with them next to two signs: one that read “Here it is ok to cry,” and another “Here it is ok to laugh.” Every day, every hour, brought moments of darkness juxtaposed with moments of light, of tragedy met by resilience. 

Coming home to the holiday season in full swing was jarring. But of course, in spite of the festive lights and decorations and seeming normalcy of life here in San Diego, things are far from normal for our Jewish community. 

Stepped up security, anti-Israel protesters interrupting civic events, unsafe environments for our brave college students, online harassment of our young people; all were part of coming home to this “safe” community. Since October 7, I have worn a magen david, a Star of David, around my neck every day. In Israel, many friends asked if I was afraid to wear it back in San Diego. They had heard about the rise of antisemitism and the anti-Israel protests throughout the U.S. and were worried for my safety. Remarkable. 

So let me be very clear – I am not afraid. Saddened and angry and cautious, of course. But not afraid. On the contrary, I am proud. I am committed. I am resilient. And so are the Jewish people. If it was at all unclear before, Jewish life in San Diego and throughout the diaspora is inextricably linked to what happens in Israel. We must stand united in this generationally defining moment. As we look to the future of Jewish life in San Diego, we must fight the darkness, defending with all our might against antisemitism and those who wish us harm. We must support the state of Israel and Sha’ar HaNegev with all the moral clarity that demands. At the same time, and just as importantly, we must make room for the light, investing in the joy, the meaning, and the flourishing of Jewish life. And with your generous support, we will. 

Wishing you a Hanukkah filled with light and a Shabbat Shalom, 

Heidi Gantwerk, President & Chief Executive Officer